


Uncovering the Meaning

by Nixie_DeAngel



Series: Soulmate AU [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Barry and Len friendship, Barry and Lisa friendship, M/M, Mentions of Canon, Past Child Abuse, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, coldflash big bang, insecure len
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 11:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8100559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nixie_DeAngel/pseuds/Nixie_DeAngel
Summary: “It doesn’t matter, Leo. The little freak wouldn’t love you anyway. No one could love you, boy!” Lewis taunted cruelly.

Len felt himself flinch from the memory of his father’s voice from the nightmare that’d woken him up. He brought his left hand to rub at the deep scar on the left side of his chest, but after a moment, he simply laid his palm flat against it.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Постигая смысл](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8716738) by [Kotokoshka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kotokoshka/pseuds/Kotokoshka)



> So firstly, huge thank you's to [Lacommunarde](http://lacommunarde.tumblr.com/) and [Asexual Fandom Queen](http://asexual-fandom-queen.tumblr.com/). I could not have gotten through this without you both. Like, you both are such lifesavers, you don't even know it. 
> 
> Secondly, I hope you enjoy this.
> 
> And a huge thank you to, [Coldflashwave-baby](http://coldflashwave-baby.tumblr.com/) for this beautiful and awesome art [here](http://coldflashwave-baby.tumblr.com/post/150716988258/art-for-uncovering-the-meaning-by). 
> 
> This is for the Coldflash Big Bang.
> 
> Also, huge thank you to [Kotokoshka](http://kotokoshka.tumblr.com/) for this [collage](http://kotokoshka.tumblr.com/post/153735419791/collage-for-uncovering-the-meaning-by) that they put together!

~~~~(~~~~  
~~~~(~~~~

_Lewis snarled out, “Hold still you stupid little shit,” before the older man brought the knife down._

_“Please not my name! STOP! PLEASE!” the young teen begged._

_“You worthless fucking shit,” Lewis snarled._

_“NOT MY NAME!” Leo screamed, thrashing his body._

_“It doesn’t matter, Leo. The little freak wouldn’t love you anyway. No one could love you, boy!” Lewis taunted cruelly._

 

 

Letting out a yelp, Len landed harshly onto his front when he fell off of the bed and onto the hardwood floor. He gasped harshly for a few moments, trembled as he pushed up onto hands and knees slowly. Squeezed his eyes shut, attempted to get his breathing under control but couldn’t seem to do so, no matter how hard he tried too.

Taking a deep breath, he held it in for five seconds before slowly releasing it. He repeated the process until he felt his heart-rate slow back down. It took nearly 117 seconds it finally began to do the trick and calm his breathing some. Standing up, he padded quietly across the room, out of the room and out to the living room.

He sat down in the high backed leather chair to the left of the large bay window. Settling back he tried to let himself relax, though Len knew it’d be a battle to do so. Tilting his head back, Len stared out and up into the starless night sky.

_“It doesn’t matter Leo, the little freak wouldn’t love you anyway. No one could love you boy!”_

Len felt himself flinch from the memory of his father’s voice from the nightmare that’d woken him up. He brought his left hand to rub at the deep scar on the left side of his chest, but after a moment, he simply laid his palm flat against it.

Curling the fingers of his right hand, he began to do his breathing exercises again. Only he counted out to ten, instead of five, before he released his breathe. Eventually he relaxed his hand but continued to control his breathing as he let his mind wander to until he’d calmed himself down.

 

 

_“So this is all I have left of it?” Len’s face was wet, but he refused to let anymore of his tears fall, staring into the mirror. He ignored the small tremor he could hear in his own voice, and brought his hand up to run over the bright pink scars._

_“I’m so sorry honey,” Crystal babbled, moving to stand behind the teenager. “I should have gotten home sooner,” she continued in a soft tone._

_Reaching out to put her hands on Leo’s bare shoulders, she ignored his tensing, knowing he didn’t mean anything by it. Simply couldn’t help tensing at any one’s touch after what Lewis had done to him. “I shouldn’t have taken so long at the store.”_

_“It’s not your fault, Crystal,” Len grumbled as he forced himself to relax underneath his step-mother’s touch. “Not like you could have done much anyway,” he added, locking eyes with her through the mirror._

_He gave her a small half smile before his eyes wandered back down to his chest, tracing what was left of his soul mate’s name. All that he had left was B, o, ew, l, en at the end. The rest was now covered in thick, bright pink scars._

_“Or you might still have it all,” Crystal remarked quietly as she too traced his newest scar with her eyes._

_“Doesn’t matter anymore now,” Len stated, far more confidently then he truly felt. “What’s happened has happened, and Lewis is out of our lives. For now.”_

_“At least until his trial,” Crystal frowned but shook her head, giving Len a tiny smile. “I’m not happy about how it happened but I am glad I can keep you two away from that monster. I just wished it could have been under different circumstances, and sooner.”_

_Len shrugged as he turned to look behind his step-mother, to where Lisa was sleeping peacefully on the bed. His baby sister was happily wrapped up in one of Len’s blue t-shirts, passed out clutching her favorite bunny rabbit, Snowflake. He let his lips quirk up into a half smile, walking over to grab his own tee shirt from the end of the bed.  
_

_Crystal hadn’t wanted them to stay in the house, especially with Len’s blood still staining the living room floor. So she’d called in a favor from a friend and gotten a deal on a decent hotel room, for the time being. They still had to figure out their next move, but that depended on the outcome of Lewis’s trial._

_"Did," Crystal started, waiting until Len turned back to look at her. "Did you get a chance to see what the name was?" She watched the teenager freeze, grey shirt half way over his head._

_Len kept himself still for half a minute, before he finished yanking the shirt on. Smoothing it down, he cleared his throat. Opened and closed his mouth a few times before he shook his head, face downcast as he scuffed at the crappy carpeting. "I," he began quietly. "Didn't even know it'd shown up until Lewis," he brought his hands up to gesture at his covered chest._

 

 

Len shook his head before he took in the sight before him, the sky was beginning to lighten up. Shaking his head, he slowly pushed himself up and padded over to his kitchen and began the process of making coffee and then a slice of toast to nibble on.

Though he didn’t feel hungry, he knew he needed to eat something, unless he wanted to pass out, again, and bring on Lisa and Mick’s wrath, again.

After the nightmares, he really just didn’t need to nor want to deal with their mother hen routines. Not when he was already feeling as he did. Len wanted to keep the symbolism of control up, even if he didn’t feel it. Especially since he’d be dealing with Lisa later on in the day.

Len shook his head roughly, when he realized he’d almost let his mind wander back to the nightmare he’d had. He forced his mind to concentrate only on the clock above the stove. Watched the arms of the clock move around slowly, counting the seconds as they came and went. Let himself relax, fall into an almost meditative state as he did.

Len jumped slightly, when the beeping from the coffee pot signaled it was done. Turning, he grabbed his favorite mug off the hook, the same one he’d gotten from Lisa when he’d graduated from high school. It was a gaudy shade of yellow with a bright blue smiley face on the opposite side of the handle. She’d barely been five years old when he had gotten it.

He felt his lips turn up into a small smile, before shaking his head and pouring himself a cup. He turned, as if on autopilot, to reach out and grab the sugar, dropping in two small spoon fills before stirring it in. Shaking the spoon above the cup, he tossed it into the sink as he took a small sip. He frowned as he pulled the cup away, before shrugging lightly, realizing that he’d let his muscle memory take control.

Straightening up, he turned and walked out of the kitchen and towards his bedroom while carefully taking another drink. Slipping in, he checked the clock. He’d have enough time for a longer shower then he’d originally planned for.

After crossing the eleven steps over, he turned off his alarm before it could go off, plancing his coffee down on the night stand as he did. Turning, he made his way over to his closet and picked out some sweatpants to pull on for after his shower. He went back over to slip at his coffee, deeming it cooled enough to chug it all in just a few seconds.

Putting the mug back down, he rolled his right shoulder, tossing the pants over his shoulder as he turned to make his way back out of his room and to the bathroom. Reaching passed the curtain, and turned the knob, waiting a moment before sticking his hand under to check the temperature. Nodding once, before Len stepped in and under the spray.

Taking a long and hot shower, Len only climbed out when the water turned cold. Drying off and slipping on his pants quickly, he tossed his towel into the hamper before going back to his room to grab his now cold mug. Taking it back to the kitchen, he washed and dried it before putting the mug back onto its hook.

Crossing his arms, leaning against the counter, he looked out his window and stared out for a while. Biting his bottom lip, he tilted his head to the side while an image formed in his mind’s eye, nodding to himself.

He straightened up and walked over into the living room, going to his easel. He flicked through his canvases before plucking up the size he wanted. He put it up, turned and began setting up what he would need for the day.

Len figured he’d kill a few hours before he subjected himself to his baby sister’s talons. Rolling his neck, he picked up his fourth favorite brush. Len scanned his colors, before dipping his brush into the cadmium red. Stepping up, he raised his brush before moving it against the blank canvas.

  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 

Len felt a small shiver run though him at the slight chill in the air, but couldn’t stop the small glare he shot the bright, sunny sky. He hated the transition of the seasons, particularly winter to spring. The weather never seemed to be able to make up its mind at all during the changes of the seasons. Scoffing, he brought his cooling coffee up to take a sip.

Len scanned the bustling court yard of Central University from a pillar, keeping a certain distance from the bustling students. It took a few moments, but he finally spotted her nearly thirty-three feet from where he was standing.

Len went to push off, but felt himself pause as he took in the young man standing, talking with Lisa. He, god, he looked to be just his type from behind. The man was lithe, he either had a runner or swimmers build. Long legs that seemed to go on for miles, and an ass that looked divine.

Len gave himself a mental shake, forced his body to straighten up and actually begin to walk over towards Lisa and her male companion, walking around others to avoid having them touch him.

Couldn’t stop the small genuine smile from flashing across his lips, taking in the sight of Lisa smiling and laughing so easily, so openly. Though he’d never admit it, warmth spread through his chest every time he got to see how happy his little sister was. Len raised his left hand, when they caught each-others gaze’s.

He watched as Lisa brought her right hand up, waving at him enthusiastically. Slowed his walk to take in the pretty face of her male companion. He bit the left inside of his cheek, noting that Lisa’s friend was most definitely his type. He held in a groan, he’d bet money his sister had hopes to entice him into interacting with another human that wasn’t a part of their family.

“Lenny,” Lisa called out joyously as she moved to take the last few steps towards him, “I didn’t know you were coming by today,” she grinned brightly, pulling him into a one armed hug. Len tensed for a few seconds, before making himself relax, reminded himself it was just Lisa. “I thought you were gonna be in National City for another few days.” She kept her arm loosely around his waist.

Len smirked, copied his sister by wrapping his left arm around her waist, “Finished up my business deal earlier than expected.” He pulled back some, but Lisa kept her arm wrapped around him. Her face was bright, open and as happy as Len could ever remember his little sister being. “So I thought I’d surprise you for lunch.”

“Lenny,” Lisa mock glared before she straightened up and turned to the young man standing next to her. “I’m sorry. Lenny, this is my friend Barry Allen. Barry, this is my big brother, Lenny,” she squeezed Len lightly, as she spoke.

“Nice to meet you,” Barry smiled, eyes crinkled and lips stretched wide. He reached his hand out, as if to shake Len’s but accidentally knocked the coffee out of Len’s right hand. Both of Barry’s hands flew up to his mouth, covering it up as his eyes widened almost comically.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered quietly, he brought his hands down to rub at his neck, face turning bright red. The flush went down his neck, disappearing under the collar of his hoodie. “I am so, so sorry. I’m such a klutz.”

Len grimaced, shaking his hand in an attempt to dry off his hand a little. Let out a soft grunt when Lisa dug her elbow into his side. Len turned his gaze to look over at the younger man, who was hunching in on himself. “Its fine, Scarlet,” he spoke up.

When the younger man looked up, he shot him a crooked grin. It took a moment but the younger man finally smiled tentatively back. Len felt something pull in his chest, at the sight of the others small but bright smile.

“Accidents happen all the time,” Len remarked, lips tugging into a proper grin than it’d been a few seconds ago.

“Don’t be such a jerk, Lenny,” Lisa cut in playfully, getting both men’s attention back on her, just in time to watch her lips were curve into a teasing smirk.

“Train wreck,” Len snarked back, more out of habit than anything else, but he did mirror his baby sister with a smirk of his own.

“Ignore him, Barry,” Lisa rolled her eyes at Len before turning to give Barry a far more genuine look, “Lug never learned how to interact with the human race,” she teased brightly before continuing, “Come on, we can grab take out and go eat at my place.”

Barry gave a small, almost cautious smile in response before voicing his agreement. Though Len hadn’t planned to, he found himself only halfheartedly grumbling but let Lisa tug him along. Walking towards Len’s car, the trio argued playfully about what food they should grab along the way to Lisa’s place.

 

 

_“So what is it that you do?” Len asked as he passed Barry a soda. He dropped back down onto Lisa’s couch next to the younger man and popped the top off of his beer. Lisa had abandoned them to go and get ready for their night out, so that Len could officially meet his baby sister’s soul mate._

_“I’m a forensic analyst for the CCPD,” Barry answered with a small smile and a nod of thanks for the drink. “It’s normally pretty boring,” he quipped quietly as he opened the can. Taking a small sip, he flushed a little as Len raked his gaze over the younger man. “What about you, though?” Barry asked after a short pause._

_“I restore old paintings, while also occasionally selling a few of my own creations,” he rumbled quietly, with a small smile playing at his lips. He was a little caught off guard by the younger man’s own answer. Barry looked far too young to be a forensic scientist. He cut his eyes over to the painting hanging above Lisa’s TV._

_He nodded towards it and watched as Barry flicked his eyes over to look at it. Barry’s lips parted, his jaw dropping just a little as he took in the young figure skater who looked as if she was in mid spin. It wasn’t an intricate painting but the simplicity of it captured the raw emotion on the young girl’s face._

_“You did that?” Barry asked, voice colored with his surprise. He turned bright eyes back to look over at the older man._

_Len nodded with a tiny smile. “For Lisa’s 16th birthday,” he answered, flicking to look over at it. “She’d recently blown her knee out. I wanted to immortalize her last performance for her. So she’d have a good memory from that day.”_

_“That’s Lisa?” Barry asked, eyes widening slightly as his jaw dropped just the tiniest, “I didn’t know she was a figure skater. She never mentioned that, in any of her stories about your guy’s childhood.”_

_Len gave a half grimace, half smile before answering the younger man. “It’s a bit of a sore spot for her. Some days she loves talking about her glory days on the ice. Others, Lise pretends it never happened.” He turned back to look up at the picture for another moment._

_“She was qualifying for the Olympics when she landed wrong,” the older man spoke quietly as he continued explaining. He paused to clear his throat and continuing, “She’s the one who pushed me to make this an actual career.”_

_“I think she realized you were amazing,” Barry murmured before promptly flushing his signature red, “You’re very talented, Len. That’s just, wow. It’s wow.” He grinned, wide and bright._

_Len smirked before taking a swig of his beer. “Thanks, Scarlet,” he drawled before turning to look back at his favorite piece while they waited for Lisa to finish cleaning up from their meal. “It’s enjoyable and it lets me control my time.”_

_They lapsed into silence, before Len felt his face scrunch up in confusion, turning to stare at Barry in puzzlement. “If you work for the CCPD, what were you doing at the university then?” he questioned, kept his voice carefully neutral. He didn’t want to imply anything, accuse Barry of anything but he needed to an answer for his own peace of mind._

_“Oh,” Barry’s face lit up with excitement, “I was a guest speaker today,” before he went off in a rush telling Len all about. Barry only stopped when Lisa came back to join them, pulling the younger man from his lengthy explanation with practice ease._

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 

“Who the hell are you?”

Len turned his head over to see who was standing at his door, before a small smile broke out across his face, which he quickly turned into a playful smirk. “That’s Scarlet, Mick. He’s good.” He watched as the bigger man snorted, before flashing him a knowing smirk.

“The scrawny thing Lisa’s been hammering on about?” Mick inquired but did step aside to let the younger man inside of Len’s place. “He looks twelve.”

“You people are the worst,” Barry whined a little, as he brought his arms up to cross over his chest as his lips went down in a pout. “I’m 26 damnit!” He walked through before he shut the door behind him. He shot an indignant look over to Len, who simply smirked brightly back at him.

“Sure, baby face,” Mick smirked before he moved back across to reclaim his seat on the couch. “You say so.”

Barry grumbled for a moment before he turned his head to look over at Len. “Lisa asked me to pick up Cisco’s gift for her. Can I get it?”

Len nodded over to the bookcase, next to the large bay window. “It’s on the bottom shelf, next to the picture from the bar.” He used his paint brush to point, “Behind the glass skull.”

Barry smiled in thanks, walked over before squatting down, reached out and pulled the small black bag from its hiding spot before standing back up. “Thanks, Len. I’ll get out of your hair now.” He made as if to move back over towards the door. “Let you guys get back to whatever it was you were doing,” he shot both men a small, nervous grin.

“Don’t run off on my account, kid,” Mick spoke up, grinned at the younger man as he crossed his arms, knowing how it should off his arms. Anyone could see he was enjoying teasing Barry. “Stay, should get to know Lise and Len’s new little buddy for myself.”

Mick flashed a quick smirk at Len, when he noticed the way Barry seemed to shrink in on himself. Barry flicked his own eyes over to Len, redirected his body to move towards the kitchen.

“Don’t be an ass, Mick,” Len cut in, glaring over at his best friend. He turned and nodded at Barry, gave a flash of a smile to the lithe man. “Mick’s just leaving. Don’t have to go if you don’t want to, Scarlet.”

“Can see when I’m not wanted,” Mick grumbled with a leer, fished his car keys out before nodding over at Len. “See you at dinner party tomorrow, Snart.” Turning, Mick eyed Barry’s lean form before turning to wiggle his eyebrows at Len.

“Mick,” Len bit out, shot his friend a scathing look before turning to make sure Barry hadn’t caught the look, only to see Barry’s eyes trained on Mick. He felt something tighten in his chest, watching the younger man’s eyes widen before his face began to turn his signature color, as he turned his face down to stare at the ground.

Mick chuckled, opened the door and stepped through before tossing one last comment over his shoulder, “Don’t do nothin’ I wouldn’t do, Lenny,” before yanking the door closed behind him.

Len nearly bit through his tongue, trying to keep his emotions in check. He stalked over to his front door, twisting the deadbolt, ensuring Mick wouldn’t be able to come back in and add fuel to the fire he’d started with his words.

“Mick likes to stir shit up,” Len spoke up, when it was clear Barry wouldn’t say anything. The younger bobbed his head in response, both falling silent.

Len shifted, moving back towards his easel, where he’d been cleaning his work station up when Mick had bombarded him an hour earlier, though there wasn’t much left to clean up now. “Need something, Scarlet?” Len inquired, moved to walk the eight steps over to his second favorite chair. He leaned on top of it with his elbows.

“How have you been?” Barry asked, awkwardly shifted from where he stood in the doorway between the kitchen and living room. “Lisa mentioned you made a big sale last week.”

Len rolled his eyes as he pushed up, walked around to drop into his favorite chair. “Barry,” he drawled as he rolled his head to stare over at the younger man. “Skip the beating around the bush segment of the conversation and get to the point already.”

“She’s worried about you,” he began after a moment, shifting before walking over to sit on the couch. “She just wants to make sure you’re okay, Len.”

“Did my train-wreck of a little sister ask you to come check on me, Scarlet?” He narrowed his eyes, letting his voice drop as he unconsciously tensed and straightened up in his seat. “How touching,” he stated with just a touch of a sneer in his voice.

“What?” Barry asked, head whipping up to stare at Len with wide eyes. “No! Oh god no! Len, I came to make sure you were okay myself because I was worried too,” he rushed to assure him. “I care about you. You’re my friend, Len. Is it wrong to worry about my friends?” He asked, biting at his bottom lip while he brought his hand up to rub at the back of his neck.

Len squinted at the younger man before relaxing slowly, warmth spreading through his chest at the younger man’s words. “I’m fine,” he muttered with a scoff, “Just like I told her.”

“Are you sure?” Barry rushed to make sure. Biting his lip, Len watched as the younger man seemed to struggle for a moment before he continued on, “You can tell me, you know. I’m here for you, Len.”

Len tilted his head back slightly but sent the younger man a small, genuine smile. “I know,” he murmured softly. “I’ll keep that in mind, Barry, but for now I am fine and I don’t need to talk about it.”

Both men fell silent, Barry shuffling around, wringing his hands together. “So,” Barry paused to clear his throat before starting again, “So how did you meet Mick?” he inquired with a look of open curiosity on his face. “You two don’t seem to actually have all that much in common,” he added with a wince.

Len smirked with a small shake of his head. “I did a short stint in juvie when I was fourteen,” he answered, kept the smirk on, watched as Barry’s eyes widened slightly before he leaned forward slightly. “He kept me from taking a shiv to the gut. We stayed in touch after we got out.”

“Wow, um. That’s not at all what I was expecting to hear,” Barry remarked, hand up to rub at his jaw, body only slightly shifting.

Len was happy to note that the more time he spent with the younger man the easier it was for Barry to relax around him. Len wondered if both he’d make even more progress in the coming weeks, like he’d been doing in the few short weeks since he’d met Barry, he was pleased to note.

“It helped that Crystal, Lisa’s mom, let Mick have a place to stay after he got out system. Lise and she pretty much adopted Mick into the family. We didn’t really get over our differences until he decided to join the fire house as a volunteer.”

“How come,” Barry shifted, bringing his left leg up to tuck underneath his right one. “You let him stay around, if you didn’t get along with him? You aren’t the kinda guy that would let someone stay around Lisa, unless you could at least tolerate them.”

“He kept doing petty crimes here and there,” Len shrugged before continuing. “By the time he’d gotten out of juvie, I’d given up what had landed me there. He didn’t. Not until Crystal got really sick. It hit him as hard as Lisa and I.”

“How come you only mention Lisa’s mom?” Barry flushed while biting his lip. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that. I don’t mean to seem like I’m prying into your past here. I’m just naturally curious and now I’m rambling.” He gave a sheepish smile before ducking his head a little.

Len smiled just a touch at the other man. “It’s okay, Scarlet,” he soothed before finishing off his beer. “My mother died in a car accident when I was three years old. Dad got life in prison when I was 15.” Len paused to clear his throat.

“Crystal got custody of Lise and me. She raised us, only parent I’ve ever really had. Only mother I got to have in my life,” Len shrugged his left shoulder. “Only one that’s ever mattered to me.” Forced his mind away from thoughts of his father, not wanting to ruin the good mood he was sharing with Barry.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 

_“So how exactly did you meet my sister?” Len leaned his elbows onto the table, as he tilted his face closer to Barry. He watched as the younger man seemed to go bright red before cringing just a little at his question._

_“She um, she ah,” Barry brought his hands up to scrub at his face before he let them drop as he let out a sigh. “Lisa actually walked in on me straddling her boyfriend.”_

_Len’s eyebrows met his hairline as he gave Barry a suspicious look. He blinked rapidly for eleven seconds before snorting. “I’ve gotta hear this.” He leaned back into his side of the booth as he waited._

_“Cisco and I have been friends for almost two years now,” Barry explained as he shifted awkwardly around for a moment. “And we like to do science together, a lot.”_

_Len felt his mouth turn up into a smirk, “You and Cisco do a lot of science together?” he teased, wiggled his brows. Let out a soft chuckle as Barry began to sputter and flail for a moment._

_“You know what I mean,” Barry’s face dipping down into a pout for a second before he smiled almost bashfully over at Len. “We can get caught up in our excitement so easily, and you’re intimately familiar with my klutzy moments.”_

_Len nodded as he brought his free hand to rub at the left side of his chest, as both men shared a small smile, recalling the first time they met._

_Len felt warmth spread through his chest. In the nearly two months they’d known each other, Len had begun to lose count to the many times he’d felt his chest warm unexpectedly because of Barry._

_“Well, long story short. I knocked us over and in the process of trying to climb off of Cisco, Lisa walked in on us.” Once again, Barry turned his signature color. “I thought for sure she was going to kill me.”_

_“But she made a crack about threesomes?” Len inquired with a shake of his head. He knew his baby sister and her sense of humor, and she wouldn’t pass on an opportunity like that._

_“How did you know she did that?” Barry asked as his eyes widened and his mouth dropped up in surprise. God the kid was such an open book._

_“Lisa’s specialty,” he remarked with a snort, lips curved up into a smirk. “She loves catching people in situations like that, especially if they fluster as easily as you and Ramon do, Scarlet.”_

 

 

Len jerked back to the present at the sharp ring of his phone. Stepping back, he dipped his brush into the already colored water before cleaning the paint from his bristles. Turning, he walked over quickly and snatching it up and answering with a gruff, “What?”

“Don’t be snippy with me, you big jerk,” was shot back over the line. Len rolled his eyes at his little sister’s sharpness.

“Train wreck,” he quipped back fondly, “You need something, sis?” Stretched his back, trying to keep the phone to his ear while he did so, couldn’t stop the small groan from slipping out when he felt something pop. Clearly, he’d been still for far too long.

“Just calling to see what time you’d be dropping by tonight,” Lisa answered back. He could hear a smile in her voice. “Mick got called in to cover a shift at the station, so he won’t be able to make it.”

“At least there won’t be a danger of anything being set on fire then,” Len commented, lips quirking up into a smirk, “Is it a real call in or is it an avoidance of a certain genius of his?” He brought his hand up to scratch at his lower left peck, lightly grazing over the scar there.

“Real call in,” Lisa answered. “I called in to double check. You know I wouldn’t let him get away with avoiding his husband because of some pesky little fight. Though, I’m still going to make him pay for missing out on tonight.”

“They would most likely blow up your apartment building if they had to be in the same place right now. Now you just need to worry about Ramon and Hartley fighting,” he shot back as he moved to drop down onto his couch. “Though, I doubt Hartley will try anything, after all he’s only just gotten back onto your good side. He won’t do anything to jeopardize that so soon.”

He paused to give a little hum, “Everyone’ll respect you and your boy toy’s place. No one wants to suffer your wrath.” He rolled his neck as he spoke, “Don’t worry, Lise. Everything will run smoothly.”

“Just make sure you don’t make anyone cry,” Lisa snarked before hanging up. Len rolled his eyes at the abruptness of his baby sister before ending the call and tossing his phone onto the cushion next to him.

Letting his head fall back, he let out a sigh and rested for a moment. After a few moments, he pushed himself up and turned to check the clock. He had nearly four hours to kill before he had to be at his sister’s.

Shoving up he went back over to finish up the few things he could, without getting sucked into a creative spiral. He still needed to shower and dress for the house warming party. Though Len still didn’t understand why his sister was even throwing the damn thing, she and Cisco had been living together for nearly five months now.

 

 

Using up every minute he could, Len arrived promptly on time, most charming smile in place, and a bottle of wine he knew Lisa loved in his hands.

“Sup, Snart,” Cisco bobbed his head, opening the door and letting in the older man. “Lisa’s in the kitchen.” Reaching out with his right hand, he waited for the other to pass him the bottle.

Len raised a brow but moved in and handed off the wine. “Giving Hartley the riot act?” he asked, smirking as he pulled off his black pea coat, folding it over his left arm, tucking his right hand into this slacks pocket.

“Yep,” Cisco answered, popping the ‘p’ while letting his lips stretch into a wide, happy grin. Eyes warm filled with love and warmth, turning his head to look back towards the kitchen for a moment, before Cisco went to looking back at Len.

Len nodded, turning to look into the empty living room, before shooting the tech genius a questioning look.

“Only you and Rathaway arrive on time,” Cisco answered with an exaggerated eye roll. Len could hear the slightest hint of frustration within Cisco’s voice. No doubt in Len’s mind, that Hartley had already started in with his subtle little digs.

“Nothing wrong with good manners, Ramon,” Hartley sneered, gaining both men’s attention as he walked out of the kitchen.

“Be nice, Hartley,” Lisa called out sharply, bringing cringes to both Cisco and Hartley’s faces. “Or else,” she tacked on, sticking her head out to shot the curly haired brunette a sharp look. Before anyone else could say something to defuse the situation, there was thankfully knocking at the door.

Len moved over to his sister, leaving Cisco to get the door. He mildly noted a young couple at the door, who Cisco seemed to be quite happy to see them. Turning his focus back to Lisa, he gave her a tight grin and nodded down to his coat.

Lisa rolled her eyes, and nodded towards the hallway leading to the bedrooms. “Go on, Lenny, you can stick your coat in my room. No one’ll mess with it. By the way, love the outfit,” she gave him a knowing smirk, that edge more towards a leer.

Len refused to retort, simply walked off counting out thirty two steps from the entry way to the beginning of the hallway. Another six before he got to the bedroom door. Opening it slightly, he slipped in, shutting the door behind him.

Taking a moment, he rested his body against it. Squeezing his eyes shut, he sucked in a deep breath before releasing it slowly. He reminded himself that he loved his baby sister, which was why he was subjecting himself to an evening full of her friends. And Cisco’s, he tacked on with a small shudder.

Thankfully though, at least Barry would be arriving soon, so Len would have decent company soon. He just had to hold on until then. Len took another few moments, listening out as chatter began to fill the living room, traveling around the cozy apartment.

Taking another breath, that he released slowly, Len eventually pushed himself up. Smoothing out his blue button up, that very one Lisa said brought his eyes so nicely. Not that he was hoping to catch a certain person’s attention, no matter what Lisa may have implied with her knowing leer.

Huffing, Len shook his head and turned around. Opening the door, slipping out, he closed it behind him tightly. Bringing himself to his full height, he walked down the hall, pausing when he came upon Lisa and Hartley standing where hallway and living room met.

Lisa raked her eyes over him, giving him big thumbs up and a wink. Hartley, though far more restrained then Lisa, gave a wink as well. Len rolled his eyes before turning to scan the crowd, hoping to spot decent company for the evening.

Though he held back, he felt like smiling when he noted Barry standing on the other side of the room, talking and laughing with Cisco and an unknown young woman. He shifted a little, waiting for Barry to separate so he could slide over and engage the other in conversation.

Len felt his happiness diminish as he watched Barry and the young woman though, a pang of hurt going through his chest as he watched how the young woman and Barry interact. He felt himself swallow the small lump forming in his throat, before mentally shaking himself as he continued to watch the pair.

He watched as Barry wrapped his arm around the woman’s trim waist, leaned down to whisper something into her ear. Len watched as she let out a soft, happy giggle in response to whatever Barry said to her. He watched as she swatted affectingly at Barry’s chest.

As Barry lifted his head, he caught Len’s eye from across the room. Barry’s face brightened happily. The younger man ducked his head and waved his head over towards where Len was standing.

Len watched as his smile brightened, before said something to his companion. She looked over, catching his eye and said something back to Barry before they made their way over to him, Lisa and Hartley.

Clearly this was someone completely special to Barry. Someone Barry clearly loved greatly and deeply. Len’s mind supplied the only logical answer he could think of. She was obviously Barry’s soul mate.

“And this is Iris West,” Barry grinned brightly, his hand on the small of her back as he guided her to over to where the trio was standing. “Iris, this is Len, Lisa’s older brother. You already know Lisa and Hartley.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you Len,” Iris smiled brightly, eyes glittering with warmth. “Bear’s told me so much about you.” She turned to give Barry a half knowing smile before looking back at him.

Len felt ice spread through his chest, even as he forced himself to nod and give a half smirk to the young woman at Barry’s side, “You as well.” He wondered if he sounded as fake to anyone else.

“Barry here, tells us you’re a reporter?” Lisa spoke up, drawing everyone’s attention to her. Though she kept an eye on Len, noting how uncomfortable he looked. She shot her brother a quick look of…something. Len wasn’t sure what she was trying to convey at the moment.

“Yeah,” Iris grinned, turning her attention over to Lisa. “Right now, it’s mostly puff pieces but you have to start somewhere, right?”

Everyone shared a small laugh at her statement before giving their agreements. Though a subtle elbow from Lisa, Hartley quickly took over the conversation, keeping Iris and Barry’s attention while Len slipped away from them. The distraction allowed Len to slip out and leave the place altogether.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 

Len rolled his shoulders as he wiped his brush clean, stepping back from his canvas. Tilted his head slightly to the left, he pursed his lips together before letting out a huff. No matter how he changed the angle of his head, he couldn’t see what it was about his painting that felt off.

Letting out another sigh, Len turned to glare out the window. This summer heat was killing him, especially with his air conditioning on the fritz. He wished he could open the window, but couldn’t risk the wind blowing anything into his wet paint.

Len tensed when he heard someone fiddling around with his front door. Turning his head, he watched as his baby sister shoved the door open before strutting through, kicking the door shut behind her. Lisa flashed him a smile as she made her way towards his kitchen carrying in a brown bag.

He sniffed the air. He narrowed his eyes –she’d brought him his favorite, Chinese. Lisa only brought him his favorite food, when she wanted something out of him. Something she knew he’d most likely say no to. He squinted before shaking his head and turning his attention back towards his latest work.

“So Shawna let slip that there’s an event at Rogues next weekend,” Lisa called out as she began setting things up in the kitchen. “I asked her to add a few names to the list for me,” she added offhandedly. Len could clearly hear the irritation in her voice though.

Len tensed as he glared at the half finished painting. He refused to be baited by his baby sister. Instead he simple began raking his gaze over what was supposed to a setting sun over a lake but looked more like a volcano erupting. “I think it’s the shade of red,” he murmured to himself instead as he squinted his eyes just a little.

“Lenny.” Turning his head, he narrowed his eyes over at Lisa, who was making her way to him, before quickly putting his attention back to the painting but he was positive he was going to scrap this piece.

“I know you can hear me, Lenny,” Lisa snapped as she tugged on the back of his tee shirt. “You can’t ignore me just because you’re being pissy.”

Tensing, Len shook her off before crossing his arms, still mindful of the paint brush he was holding. “I heard,” he grumbled, “I’m choosing to ignore you and your words.”

“Not gonna ask who’s been added?” Lisa inquired as she moved to step up next to her brother, squinting at the painting. “What’s this supposed to be?”

“Trash,” Len answered as he uncrossed his arms, reaching over he dropped the brush back onto the table. “Can’t seem to make anything lately,” he added as he brought his left hand up to rub at the top of his shaved head.

“Is it gonna be a problem, Lenny?” Lisa asked after a few moments. She sounded apprehensive, “The guest list?”

 

 

_“So how come you don’t talk about your childhood?” Len questioned, picking up his Thai takeout box before leaning back into his seat on the younger man’s couch. He got a mouthful onto his fork before eating. He eyed the younger man as he chewed._

_Barry choked on his mouthful, swallowing what he could as he began coughing. Len looked over, concerned moving to sit up but the other waved him off. It took a few minutes but Barry eventually got himself under control._

_“I’m sorry, it’s just,” Barry paused, putting his own fork into his box. Leaning forward, Barry placed it onto the coffee table before bringing his hands up to scrub at his face. His shoulder’s tensed as his body curling into itself, just a little._

_“Barry, honestly it’s fine. You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to,” Len assured, moving to balance his food onto his thighs, before he brought his hands up, palms facing the younger man, showing no ill tent towards the other._

_“No, no,” Barry sighed, hands dropping into his lap. “It’s just that, everyone I talk to about my parents don’t believe me. Not even my foster family does.” He bit at his bottom lip, glancing up at Len from under his lashes every so often._

_“You’ve never lied to me before,” Len began, slowly reaching out to pick up Barry’s hands in his, while he used his other to keep his food from tumbling over. “I doubt this is what you’d start with, if you decided to start lying to me,” Len smirked, giving the younger man’s hands a squeeze before pulling back._

_“So come on, Scarlet,” Len leaned back on his end of the other man’s couch. “Tell me about it. Completely open mind here.” He once again picked up his food and his fork to begin eating as he waited._

_“I’ll sound crazy,” Barry muttered but he did move to mirror Len’s position on his end of the couch._

_“I doubt you’ll beat out some of the crazy I’ve heard over the years from Hartley and Cisco,” Len replied, a lop-sided smile for the younger man. “That’s not even going into some of the things Lisa and Mick have gotten up to over the last decade or so.”_

_Barry snorted, wringing his hands together before taking a deep breath. It took a few moments of him just sitting there, but he finally began to speak, telling Len his side of what happened the night his mother was killed._

 

 

“Lenny?” Lisa asked, gently touching her brother’s arm, trying to get his attention again. “Look, I know you’re,” she paused to wave her hand at him. “Whatever it is now when it comes to Barry, but he really wants to go to support you, even if you are pissed at him for no reason what-so-ever, Len.”

Len rolled his eyes before waving his sister off, “’S fine, Lise,” he turned and made his way into his kitchen. “More the merrier,” he muttered sarcastically. Pulling out one of his bar stools and sank down before picking up a container to see what his sister had gotten. “Everyone is welcomed.”

“I don’t understand what even happened. Nearly four months of you two getting along, and then all of a sudden two weeks ago you just decided to freeze him out without an explanation. To anyone, Lenny,” Lisa spoke as she followed after her brother. “What happened at my party that upset you so much?”

“I don’t need to explain myself to anyone, Lisa,” Len stated firmly, as he scooped some beef Lo Mein onto his plate. Putting the container down, he reached out for another. Opening it up, he glared a little as he put some Moo Shu chicken onto his plate. Clearly, Lisa was fighting dirty with his favorites from The Golden Palace.

“You were smiling, Lenny,” Lisa began softly as she sat down across from him. “You were happy. Why can’t you explain to me why you’re throwing away this chance with Barry?”

“I’m not going to wreck his relationship with Ms. West,” Len replied before shoving a forkful of Lo Mein into his mouth.

“Barry’s what?” Lisa asked, sounding confused. She eyed her big brother for a moment, waiting for him to repeat himself.

“Barry’s relationship with Ms. West,” Len repeated stiffly after swallowing his mouth full of food. He let his eyes narrow just slightly as he spoke.

“His relationship with Iris,” Lisa asked in disbelief, before bursting into a deep belly laugh, doubling over as she clutched at her sides.

“His soul mate,” Len narrowed his eyes as she seemed to delve into an even deeper laugh. “Why is this so damn funny to you?” Len glared as he waited for his sister to calm herself down. It took a few moments but she finally began to calm down.

“You…you think,” Lisa tried to start before breaking off into another round of laughter. Shaking his head, Len continued to eat while he waited his baby sister out.

“Len, Lenny,” Lisa started, smiling brightly at him. “Iris is engaged to Eddie Thawne, her soul mate. Iris is Barry’s adopted sister,” she finished, leaning forward to put her hand on top of her brother’s. “Iris is not Barry’s soul mate.”

Len froze, fork half way to his mouth. Slowly he lifted his gaze up to lock onto his sisters. “What?” he whispered out, dropping his fork which clattered loudly when it connected with the edge of his plate.

“Iris West and Barry Allen have been best friends since first grade, Lenny,” Lisa answered as she pulled her hand back, after giving him a gentle squeeze. “When Barry’s mom was killed and his dad arrested, Joe, Iris’s dad, took Barry in and raised him as his own. They grew up together.”

“You’re sure?” Len asked, feeling just the tiniest blossom of hope with in his chest, “Absolutely positive about that?”

“I’ve seen her name, Len,” Lisa stated with a small smile. “It’s not one that’s easy to hide, and Barry’s mentioned having the name of a guy. Though he’s stingy with what it is exactly.”

Len blinked slowly a few times before picking his fork back up. “Huh,” he pushed around his food as he let his mind wander for a few moments, brought his free hand up to rub at his chest, needing to ground himself a little at the revelation.

“Is this why you’ve been so frosty with Barry, then?” Lisa asked after swallowing her mouth full of orange chicken, “Why does it matter so much? You don’t even have a name, Len.”

Len flinched at her statement, feeling his sister’s eyes narrow to near slits as she caught the movement. “Lenny,” she started sharply. “You told me you don’t have a name.”

“I don’t,” he snapped out, shooting up and storming over to the fridge. He gripped the handle but didn’t open it. “I don’t have a name,” he croaked out before taking a breath. “Any more,” he finished as he wrapped his arms around himself, he leaned his forehead against the cold fridge, needing that contact to ground himself, feeling overwhelmed.

“Lenny?” Lisa asked uncertainly as she moved to stand up but didn’t take a step closer to him. “What do you mean by anymore?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he muttered as he turned around to look at his sister, though he kept dropping his eyes to the floor. “It’s in the past, Lise. And it’s staying there,” letting his arms dropped he took a few steps towards the exit. “Bring whoever you want to the gallery, Lisa. It’s your call,” before he stormed off.

Len though had barely gotten to the door of his bedroom when Lisa was caught up to him. She pulled on his arm to stop him. Len tensed as soon as she’d touched him but he refused to turn around and face her.

“What the hell did you mean by that?” she demanded, eyes narrowed to slits as she moved around to stand in front of him, she pulled once more on his arm.

“Nothing,” he croaked out before closing his eyes, balled up both of his hands, driving his nails into the palms of his hands. “It’s nothing Lisa. It doesn’t matter,” he added on as he finally shook off her hand.

“Yes it does,” Lisa cut in as she dropped her arm back down to her side. “What do you mean you had a name, Lenny?” She moved her hands up as if to reach out for him but she never moved them forward. “Did, did you lose them?”

Len let out a dark chuckle, shaking his head before giving Lisa a pain filled look. “No,” he whispered brokenly. “They aren’t dead,” he continued as he brought his right hand up to rub at his eyes. “At least who I hope it is, isn’t dead.”

“Hope it is?” Lisa asked in confusion, as her face morphed to show it. “I don’t understand. What’s with all this run around big brother? Why have you never mentioned a name before?” She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at him as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You can’t just let me believe all my life that you don’t have a name before dropping the bomb that you do and refusing to give me any info about it,” she went on as she moved back a step, so as to give her brother some more space.

Len opened his mouth and closed it numerous times before squeezing his eyes shut once more and letting his shoulders drop in defeat. “Guess I should have known I’d have to tell you this one day,” he muttered faintly, before swallowing around the lump forming in his throat.

Turning his head to his little sister, he opened his eyes and scowled. “We’ll need drinks and comfortable seats,” he continued on, “This is a long story, Lisa. One that isn’t particularly happy.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 

After explaining to Lisa, Len had shut himself up in his apartment. He allowed no one in, not caving for any who came around to knock on his door. He also avoided answering his phone or even turning on his computer, to check his email or Facebook.

It was only on the fifth day, he finally let another person into his self-imposed exile of, of— oh god, Len brought his hand up to scrub at his face forcefully — he was pulling a teenage Lisa after one of her breakups!

Len jolted out of his thoughts at the sharp, fast knocks coming from his front door. He let out a soft sigh, shoved himself to his feet before taking the fourteen steps it took to reach his door. Yanking it open, he glared at his best friend, who was scowling right back at him.

“Five fucking days,” Mick grumbled as he shouldered passed his friend and stormed into the apartment. “Lisa’s been up my ass and now she’s got Hartley up there too ‘bout this shit!”

“Isn’t your husband normally up there?” Len smirked as he shut the door and shot his friend a sneer. “I assumed he lived up there just to torment you.” He stalked over to his easel, counting out the steps it took in his mind.

“Don’t be a prissy bitch,” Mick growled as he turned around to glare over at the other. “Don’t give a shit what you and Lisa are fighting about, but get her to leave me and Hart alone. I got enough problems of my own already. Don’t need you two addin’ on to ‘em.”

“Fighting over drapes again?” Len sneered as he turned back to stare at his latest work, noting almost absently the shade of red was still off.

“Fighting over adoptions again,” Mick snapped back. “Now fix whatever shit you got goin’ with Lise. I’m tired of dealin’ with her,” Mick’s voice dark, a promise of violence if they siblings kept up with their fighting.

Len blinked in astonishment as he turned to stare over at his oldest friend, “Adoption?” He sounded as surprised as he did the day Mick finally brought Hartley around to meet him and Lisa.

“Don’t change the subject,” Mick replied, still glaring darkly at the other man. “But yes, we’re talking it out, trying to see if we’re ready or not.”

Len hummed before nodding a few times. “Good for you,” he murmured as he moved his gaze back to in front of himself.

He stayed quiet for a few moments, knowing Mick was simply waiting him out. Though it was clearing a standoff between them, Len knew he wouldn’t be able to get back to work until he’d dealt with the older man.

“I told her the real story about Lewis and his final arrest,” he finally muttered out, hunching his shoulders. He folded in on himself as he listened to Mick suck in a surprised breath.

“You swore to never tell her the truth,” Mick moved to drop down onto the couch. He scrubbed his hands over his face before shaking his head and lifted it to look back at Len. “How’d she take it?” but paused to shake his head at himself, “Stupid question, course she didn’t take it well.”

“She stormed off and wouldn’t take my calls the first day.” Len answered anyway, paused to swallow before continue, “Then she wouldn’t stop asking me about it.” He grabbed his rag and began to clean off his brush while he spoke. “Couldn’t take havin’ to keep reliving it; it’s why I froze her out.”

Mick swore softly before standing up and moved over to put his hand on Len’s shoulder. “I’ll talk to her,” he muttered, giving the slightly shorter man’s shoulder a squeeze before he dropped his hand and moved back, giving Len as much space as he could.

“No, you shouldn’t have to play middle man between Lise and me. I’ll do it,” Len dropped the brush and rag down onto his work table before he turned to face Mick. “I’ll have her come over again tomorrow.”

Mick nodded in agreement, “I’ll cover for you today then. Give you a few more hours to ignore everything,” he gave the other a grin before moving towards the front door. “Now, I get to go back home and fight with my husband again.”

“What’s the problem with adoption?” Len asked as Mick’s hand closed around the door knob.

“Hartley doesn’t think he’d be a good parent,” Mick muttered, turning his head to look back over at Len, “His demons, ya know.”

“He’ll be good, you both will. You guys get enough practice with your grown up children, real ones will probably be more of a cake walk,” Len shared a smirk with his friend.

Len locked the door as soon as Mick was gone. He rested his forehead against the cold wood, trying to gather some peace before pushing himself off it and turned to take in his apartment. He frowned, nodding once as he decided to kill a few hours cleaning. At least it would be one less thing for Lisa to worry over.

 

 

Stepping back, Len flicked his eyes around the now spotless living room. Shaking his head, he walked over before dropping face first into the cushions. Letting his body sink into the cushion, he released a soft sigh before closing his eyes.

Though, no sooner had he begun to slowly drift off, the sharp, shrill ring of his phone went off. Groaning, Len slowly pushed himself into an upright sitting position before reaching over and snatching the cordless off its charger. Hitting the on button, he growled out, “What?”

“Barry’s getting his name COVERED UP,” was screeched over the line.

Len blinked, grip going lax as he let the phone drop onto his lap before it bounced onto the floor. After a few seconds, he scrambled to snatch up the phone. He pressed it back to his ear to hear his sister yelling over the line. “The hell you mean he’s getting his name covered up?”

“Iris called Cisco this morning,” Lisa nearly yelled out but seemed to barely keep herself in check. “Apparently Barry and she were talking last night, and he told her he was seriously considering just covering it up.”

“Why?” Len asked, voice breaking but he cleared it before continuing. “Why would he want to cover it up? Barry’s never had anything negative to say about it before.”

“Well according to Iris, Barry knows who his soul mate is,” Lisa’s voice dropped to nearly a whisper as she spoke. “And the guy doesn’t want him.”

Len felt his stomach roll as he listened to Lisa talk, fighting the urge to be sick at the thought of Barry doing that to himself. Of actually going through with covering up something that meant so much to the younger man.

“So he wants to cover it up?” Len’s voice nearly hysterical, rising in volume as he continued, “He can’t do that!” Len shoved up from his couch, began to pace from it to the entry way of his kitchen. Doubling back, he counted out the paces, fourteen steps between the two points.

“He can, Lenny,” Lisa whispered. She sounded completely wrecked. “I thought,” she paused to swallow. “I thought maybe you could try talking to him. He might listen, ya know? If nothing else,” Lisa trailed off.

“If nothing else, I’ll have given it my best shot,” Len murmured in agreement. “I’ll see what I can do.” He pulled the phone away before clicking the off button. Pausing, he stared at the phone for a few moments before tossing it as hard as he could at the wall. He watched as it splintered off into pieces before falling to the floor.

Taking a breath, Len stared for a moment before he spun on his heel and took off to his bedroom to pull on clothes. He needed to get over to Barry’s place and get the man to reconsider his decision. God, he couldn’t believe Barry would even entertain a thought such as covering up his name.

 

 

_“It wasn’t so bad until high school,” Barry remarked with a half shrug, his smile dim. “Gym class was the worst about it.”_

_“Teenage boys are some of the cruelest creatures out there,” Len agreed with a small smirk, “Especially when they can pinpoint your weakness.”_

_Barry snorted, rolling his eyes. “I wasn’t so happy about it then but now, knowing what I do about soul mates? I’m glad it’s somewhere I can display proudly.” Len hummed before they fell into a quiet, comfortable silence for a few moments._

_“What about you?” Barry asked with a smile, lips stretch wide and bright as he looked over at the older man. “Where’s your name at?”_

_Len tensed, but refused to show his flinch at the question. He knew he shouldn’t have inquired about the younger man’s name. Bringing up his beer, he took a long pull from it before answering quietly, “I don’t have a name.”_

_“Oh,” Barry murmured softly, eyes dropping down to his lap. “I’m, um, sorry?” He moved both his hands to rub at his neck, while he winced._

_Len forced himself to smirk while shrug it off as if it wasn’t a big thing. “It’s fine, Scarlet. Not everyone gets to have one. Some of us just have to try and form a bond with only luck on our side.” He brought his hand up to rub at his left peck._

_“So working on anything new?” Barry asked, voice a little too high to be normal but Len appreciated his effort at changing the subject of the conversation._

_Len gave the younger man a grateful smile before going on to tell him about the latest painting his was restoring for the museum and even his own piece he was tinkering about with. “I am actually. It’s a rather personal piece, not sure if I’m going to let anyone see it or not.”_

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 

Len brought his hand up, pounded on the apartment door in front of him a few times before stepping back. He waited a moment, before bringing his fist back up for another round of knocking.

“I’m coming,” was yelled through the door but it certainly wasn’t the voice Len was expecting. Blinking once the door was pulled open, Len stared into the surprise face of Iris West.

“I’m,” Len started but paused, cleared his throat as he shifted back. “I’m looking for Barry?” He knew he sounded uncertain, probably looked ruffled as well to the young woman.

“He’s on his way home from work right now, he just called to let me know,” Iris answered, crossed arms and narrowed eyes. “Can I help you?” She took half a step back as she spoke, but Len could feel anger radiating off the woman.

Len cleared his throat, straightened to his full height. “No, I don’t think there’s anything you can assist me with, Ms. West,” Len nodded at her once before he made to turn and walk away.

“He wants to cover his name up,” Iris called out before he could even fully turn away from her. “He says it’s for the best because even if he’s got his soul mates name, his soul mate doesn’t have his.” Len turned back to look at her as she spoke. “Barry’s never wanted to cover his name up before this week.”

“It’s his decision,” Len shrugged, stuffing both his hands into the pockets of the black pea coat. He forced his body to seem relaxed and his face clear. He couldn’t afford to show weakness to someone so unknown.

“If you really felt that way,” Iris arched her brow as she moved to take a step closer to him but actually just shuffled her feet some. “Then I doubt you’d be down here right now.”

Len scowled at the young reporter instead of giving her a verbal answer. He felt his jaw tighten in anger, more at himself then at Iris. He hated letting others be able to read him so easily.

Iris smirked, before uncrossing her arms to wave him in as she moved to step aside. “I think it’s about time you and I, got to know each other just a little bit better.”

Len tilted his head, looking down at her quizzically for nearly forty seconds before speaking, “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

He did step into the apartment though, walked nine steps to get around the couch, before another five to put him right next to the TV. Len turned in time to watch Iris move to stand by the end table, on the left side of the couch.

“Nonsense,” Iris insisted, lips curving up into a sly smile. “We’re _both_ a big part of Barry’s life now. We _should_ get to know one another and we _should_ learn to get along as well,” she eyed him, as she waited for him to make his next move.

“If he wanted that,” Len remarked as he gazed down at her with an unreadable look. “Don’t you think, he’d have done something about it already?” He flicked his gaze around the living room before landing back on her, though he couldn’t quite keep her eye.

Iris let out a light laugh in response. “Please,” she rolled her eyes, still smiling warmly at the older man. “Barry would do his absolute best to keep us apart. He’d be far too afraid of me, to let us meet, let alone have a conversation.”

“And why would he worry about you, and what you would do?” Len asked, shifting on his feet. “I’d rather think, he’d be afraid because of my,” he paused, head going to the side as he drew out the moment just slightly, “Prickly demeanor.”

“But you don’t know all of Barry’s embarrassing childhood exploits,” Iris answered, waving off Len’s statement. “Just think of all the things he’d never want you to know. The things I’d easily tell you for the right price.”

Len felt himself puzzle at her tone, with her words. He wondered if he was missing something she was saying without actually coming out and saying it. He studied the young reporter in front of him for a moment. “What would be the right price?” He watched as he face twisted into a small smirk before her face relaxed.

“Lisa tells me, you’re the man to talk to about getting Mick Rory’s red velvet cupcakes.”

Len blinked in surprise at her statement. He pondered when his sister and West would have talked about Mick’s legendary baking skills. “Your price is cupcakes?” he asked incuriously, eyebrows nearly hitting his hair line, “Mick’s cupcakes?”

“They happen to be my future mother-in-law’s favorite kind,” Iris answered, waving her hands like it explains everything. Link blinked in confusion, prompting Iris to explain further. “Mrs. Thawne isn’t exactly a fan of mine,” she tacked on, sniffing at her own words.

Len blinked, feeling a smirk break out on his face. “Bribery,” he murmured, nodding a few times. “Let me know when you need them,” he raised his hand, cutting off whatever she’d opened her mouth to say. “But I don’t wanna know Barry’s history, till he’s ready to tell me.”

“Wha-what is going on in here?”

Both Len and Iris snapped their heads around to see Barry standing in the entry way, jaw dropped and face flitting between pale and bright red, not his true Scarlet color, Len noted as he tensed up at the sudden shout from the younger man.

“Is no one going to answer me?” Barry demanded, coming in after slamming his door shut. He turned to give both his living room occupants the stink eye, before narrowing his gaze at Iris, who in turned simply smiled brightly at him.

Len watched as Iris bounced up and over to Barry, leaning in she whispered something to him before pressing a kiss to his cheek. Moving back, she turned to wave at Len.

“I’m just gonna go, you’ve got a lot of things to discuss. I’ll see you next Sunday at Dad’s for family dinner.” And with that, Iris speed out of Barry’s apartment before either man could get a word out to her.

Len watched Barry, as the other stared at the door flabbergasted for a few moments. Took in the way Barry hunched in on himself as he turned to face Len for the first time.

Both men went to open their mouths to speak, before Barry deflated and waved his hand for Len to go first.

“You can’t cover up your name,” Len bit out, arms going up to cross over his chest, though it was more so he could place his palm directly over his scar, before moving it down slightly. Needed to anchor his mind in the here and now, rather than get lost in his own memories by touching what was left of his own name.

“That’s not really your call, Len,” Barry pointed out, shoulders dropping as he moved to walk around and then drop heavily onto his couch, leaned his head back onto the cushion. “Not like my soulmate cares either, and I’d rather not have that daily reminder that I’m just not good enough.”

“He’s an idiot then, Scarlet,” Len cut in, voice a dark promise. It had Barry’s head snapping up to look over at him. “You shouldn’t cover up something that means so much to you. You’ve never wanted to hide that. Don’t let some idiot dictate how you feel about your name,” he drawled out, forced his lips into a smirk as he spoke. Wanting to project a more confident front, then what he was truly feeling.

“That was before,” Barry snapped out, arms crossing over his chest, as if to protect himself from Len’s words. “Besides, why do you care so much?” He sounded angry, broken and beaten down.

Len felt himself tense up at the accusatory tone from Barry, at the words being thrown in his face. Felt the hurt spread through his chest. He swallowed done the urge to snap back at the younger man, until Barry spoke once more.

“It’s not like you even know what I’m going through!”

“Don’t you dare say that to me,” Len snarled back, before forced himself to back up against the wall behind him. Sucking in a quick breath, holding it for ten seconds, before slowly releasing it. He kept his eyes on the ground, didn’t want to look at Barry’s face as he told him the story.

“I had a name once,” Len whispered, kept the anger still rolling around inside of him in check. He needed to get his out. Needed to explain to Barry why he would regret this. “And it was taken from me. So trust me, you don’t want to cover yours up.” He forced his body to not flinch as his mind tried wander back to the day he’d lost his apart of himself. “You think you should remove your name just ‘cause some asshole doesn’t want you? Grow up Barry. There are worse things out there then someone not wanting you back.”

Len breathed harshly, moved his eyes to stare at his scuffed up boots. He felt a sharp ache in his chest, as he realized what he’d said. Forced his gaze downwards, so he wouldn’t look up and see what was on Barry’s face. Anger at his words, confusion or pity, whatever it was on Barry’s face, Len did not want to know.

They stayed quiet, breathing heavily in the silence between them for a few moments. Barry broke it by clearing his throat, as he stood up from the couch. Len listened to the other move about the room, but refused to glance up to see where Barry was moving to.

“Ho-” Barry cut himself off that cough lightly before he tried once again to ask, “How was it,” but trailed off not knowing how to go on. Barry let out a light huff, forced himself to finish his question, “Taken from you?”

“Lewis, my father, he took it from me, before I ever really got a chance to see it,” Len answered after a small beat of silence, he sounded so broken, so crushed. “I’d give _anything_ to have my name back. And knowing you would cover yours up, just because some moron can’t recognize how utterly amazing you are, it makes me sick, Scarlet.” Paused to shake his head, forced his eyes up to meet Barry’s hazel ones.

Len took a deep breath, before he forced himself to tell Barry his darkest memory, the one that haunted his dreams, haunted his every waking moment.

 

 

 

_Leo moved through the front door quickly, stopping to stand near the bottom of the stairwell as he waited for his father to enter the house. “You screwed up!” Lewis snarled as soon as he inside the house. He threw his bag of tools onto the couch, while he rounded on his fifteen year old son._

_“How could you be so stupid?” He reached out with his left hand before Leo could move away from his father, dealing a hard smack across the boy’s face._

_The force of the blow sent Leo crashing to one knee. “It won’t happen again,” he murmured quietly, staying still. He knew if he tried to move away, it would simply anger his father more than he already seemed to be._

_“You’re damn right it won’t, boy!” Lewis bellowed out as he reached down to yank his son up by his black t-shirt. Hauling him up, he spun them around to pin the teen to the wall. “You almost got us caught!” Rearing back, Lewis struck Leo once again across the face._

_The force of the blow sent Leo crashing down once again. The grip Lewis had on his shirt, caused it to split down the left side of the collar. Though the split didn’t go all the way down, only a few inches, but it did go far enough down for the older man to notice the black ink against his son’s pale skin. Blinking, Lewis used his free hand to yank the shirt out of his way, so that he could read the name on his son’s chest._

_“What the fuck is that?” Lewis snarled out, his eyes locked onto the long, thin scratchy name just an inch below his son’s left nipple. “What the hell is that?” He brought up a meaty finger and harshly poked at Leo’s thin chest._

_Leo let out a soft whimper, trying to bring his arms up to cover up his chest but Lewis knocked them away on very attempt he tried to make. He bit at his lip, hoping he could keep any sound that wanted to escape from slipping out. Lewis always tended to get have heavier hand if he made to much noise._

_“That’s a boy’s name,” Lewis forced out through clenched teeth; his eyes blazed with fury. “Are you fucking telling me you’re some little faggot pussy?” The former dirty cop bit out, while he reached out with his left hand to grip onto his son’s t-shirt. He dragged the boy closer, peering closer at the god-awful name._

_“The fuck kinda name is this?” Lewis let out a dark chuckle as he reared back, swinging his right arm back, letting the open palm knock his worthless son onto the floor, the chunk of shirt he’d had in his other hand tearing away when he knocked Leo down._

_He sneered down as Leo wrapped both his arms around his chest, trying in vain to keep his father from getting another look at his soul mate’s name etched onto the flesh of his chest. Shaking his head, Lewis turned on his heel and stalked into the kitchen. He snatched up a steak knife from the block before stomping back into the living room._

_He bent down, and using his left hand to get another fist full of shirt, he yanked Leo back up before pinning him to the hall behind the teen. “No son of mine is gonna be a faggot!” Lewis raged as he stood in front of his son, right hand clenched tightly around a steak knife._

_“I won’t let you shame me like this!” He used his left hand to keep a tight grip on what was left of Leo’s black t-shirt. He used his grip to shove his eldest child down on to the floor._

_Straddling the boy’s legs, he yanked the torn shirt out of his way so that he had a clear view of the name that decorated his son’s chest. Lewis snarled out, “Hold still, you stupid little shit,” before the older man brought the knife down, slicing through the patch of skin that held the name of his son’s soul mate._

_“Dad, please!” Leo begged loudly, attempting to bring his hands up. Tears weld up in his eyes, slowly falling in fat drops down his cheeks, “Please not my name! STOP! PLEASE!” the young teen begged. He tried squirming around using the very limited wiggle room he had, hoping his father would by some miracle miss the name on his body._

_Lewis simply let the knife drop before balling his hand up into a fist and punching his son across the face. He sneered down before snatching up the knife once again. “You worthless fucking shit,” Lewis snarled as he sliced another jagged cut through the name on his son’s chest._

_“NOT MY NAME!” Leo screamed, thrashing his body more violently before letting out a small yell as his mind seemed to register the pain of what was happening to his body. He swallowed back any more sounds though. He just needed to protect his name. He NEEDED to keep it safe, “PLEASE!”_

_“It doesn’t matter, Leo. The little freak wouldn’t love you anyway. No one could love you, boy!” Lewis taunted cruelly as he continued to keep his son pinned to the floor as he kept slicing at the name. “No one could ever love your worthless ass!”_

_Lewis nor Leo ever heard the door open, nor died they see the woman who stand there staring, on in horror before dashing over to the phone. They didn’t hear her screaming down the line, demanded to whoever was on the other end to hurry up._

_Len didn’t remember much from what happened from that night. What he could though, was something he attempted to bury as far back in his mind as he could. After all, his father was right about one thing. Whoever Bartholomew was, they’d deserved better than a worthless piece of shit like him. No, it’d be better if he never found his soul mate._

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 

Len tensed as he moved towards the back side of the bar. He hated how crowded the bar was. Signaling the bartender before ordering an ice cold beer. As soon as he had it in his hands, he nearly chugged half the bottle, he flicked his eyes around the room, noting how many of his ‘friends’ his baby sister had come out for the party.

Len didn’t spot Barry in the crowd, noted with a pang of disappointment. But he knew after what he and Barry had talked about, it wasn’t likely he’d see the other man again, though he couldn’t stop himself from hoping.

Mentally, Len shook himself. He knew it was more a long shot of Barry coming by anyway. And that wasn’t even factoring in the last few weeks and how he’d treated the younger man. He let his disappointment roll off, knew Lisa would sniff it out, badger him until he came clean. He didn’t need Lisa’s commentary right now.

He didn’t need nor want Lisa to know about his fascination of the younger man. Though he was pretty she knew the truth, even without him telling her. Turning back around, he leaned onto the bar top as he played with the label on his bottle.

“Why the long face?”

Len flicked his eyes over before putting them back onto his bottle. “Not interested in conversation right now, Rathaway.”

“It’s Rathaway-Rory,” Hartley shot back with a mild glare. “You know I hate when you get it wrong on purpose,” he remarked. “Mick’s distracting Lisa, so that you can make your escape.”

Len raised his eyebrow at the younger man before pushing himself to stand up straight. “And why, oh why are you two, helping me escape? Expressly endangering yourselves to suffer her wrath, something Mick actually fears.”

“Because it’s our birthday present to you,” Hartley answered with half shrug, he pretended to pluck off a piece of lint from his dress shirt. “And my dearest husband may have mentioned you’ve been,” he paused, clearly pretending to search for the correct word, “Off the last few weeks. We thought you may appreciate not having to deal with so many people tonight.”

Len went to answer, to take them up on their offer when out the corner of his eye he caught sight of a bright red sports coat. Turned his head to check it out, he felt a small smile break out across his lips, as he took in the brilliant sight of Barry walking towards him. “No thanks, I’ll deal with hanging around for a while.”

Len subtly pinched himself, needing to ensure he was actually awake and watching Barry come towards him.

He raised his hand in response to Barry waving at him. He turned to Hartley and smirked, “Might wanna go save your husband before Lisa figures out she’s being conned. You know how she feels about that.” Len couldn’t stop the flash of a smirk crossing his face, as Hartley scowled playfully at him.

Hartley turned his head and smirked as he raked his gaze over Barry’s lithe form. “I’ll go fend off your little sister, while you have fun debauching her newest toy,” Hartley remarked with a touch of a leer in his voice.

Len snapped his gaze over and glared icily at Hartley’s retreating form, as he slunk away. It wasn’t until Barry pulled him into a lightening quick hug, that he moved his eyes back onto Barry. Len felt himself tense at the first contact, but relaxed almost as Barry wrapped himself around Len’s broader form, though Len kept himself from returning the hug, no matter how badly he might want to.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he murmured softly into Len’s ear. “We caught a nasty case this morning.” He stepped back, squeezing the older man’s arm as he did. He was smiling, but not as normally brightly as Len was used to.

“That’s alright, Scarlet,” Len smiled shakily. “I didn’t think you’d want to come to this. Not after,” he trailed off, “What we talked about last week,” he shrugged his shoulders.

Barry gave him a small, tentative smile as he began to pat himself down, searching for something on his person. “Congratulations on the sales, Len,” Barry quietly after a few moments, he pulled out a small box and then handed it over to Len.

Len blinked in surprise as he reached out, slowly taking the box from the younger man. Looking down, as he pulled the lid, noting the midnight blue color of the box as he took in the strake white of the piece of tissue paper. He tossed the lid onto the counter behind him and pulled the paper apart.

He felt his jaw drop as he took in the old pocket watch. With a trembling hand, he reached in and pulled the watch out, along with the silver chain. Tossing the rest of the box onto the bar top, he ran his fingertips over the engraved initials.

“Where did you get this?” His voice was rough, thick with emotion. He glanced up at Barry quickly, taking in the sight of his pleased, bashful smile.

“Lisa found it in a box, when we were cleaning out her spare room last week,” Barry answered as he shifted nervously. “She told me it was your grandfather’s. How close you and he were, before he passed away when you were a kid.”

“I thought I lost this when I went off to college,” he murmured. Tracing the letters LAS as he spoke, he flicked his eyes up to look at Barry before returning to stare at the pocket watch in his hand.

“Yeah,” Barry nodded, scratching at the back of his head. “I asked her if I could clean it up and give it back to you, for your birthday. I was having trouble figuring out what to get you.” He hunched in on himself, biting at his bottom lip, his downcast but constantly glancing up at Len from under his long lashes.

After a moment of quiet, Barry blurted out, “I’m sorry.” He moved to talk a half step back, crossing his arms, as his shoulders went up to his ears. “I shouldn’t have done this. Not with everything going on. I just. I just wanted to give you back a happy memory from your childhood.”

“No,” Len’s hand shot out, fingers wrapping around Barry’s wrist. “It’s, it’s completely perfect,” he whispered, his flicking up to lock gazes with Barry’s own. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Len,” Barry murmured softly, shuffling a little closer to the older man. “Oh,” he brightened up, slipped his hand inside his jacket, pulling out a card from an inside pocket. “This is for you too,” he added, handing it over.

Len took the card with trembling hand, while stuffing the pocket watch into his own jacket pocket. He deftly pulled the card out, smirked at the picture of the angry looking cat. He rolled his eyes as he flipped it open, and felt his eyes widen as he read what Barry’d written on the inside of it.

“Bar-Barry,” Len rumbled out nervously, as he slowly brought his gaze up to pin Barry where he stood. “You,” he glanced down to Barry’s neck, where he was rubbing at it. “You have my name?” he asked hoarsely.

Barry nodded, shyly after a moment. He looked frightened, bringing his hand down and slowly reached out to place it over Len’s that still held the card in it.

“Do,” Barry paused to swallow, shifting his weight before he stilled and forced himself to continue talking, “Do you wanna get out of here and go talk?” Barry looked hopeful as he spoke, “About, about everything?”

Len tried to swallow around the lump in his throat, before giving a few shaky nods of his head. “I’d like to, Barry,” he added softly. “I know a pretty good spot we could go too,” he added, small smile playing at his lips. Barry’s own were stretched into a wide, blinding grin.

 

 

~~~~(~~~~  
~~~~(~~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Please come say Hi to me on Tumblr, [I'm Nixie](http://nixie-deangel.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Reviews are welcomed. Have a great day or night and thanks for reading. If you have any corrections or tips you’d like to share, please don’t be shy. I’m happy for anything that can help me to improve at being a better writer.
> 
> And please don't be afraid to tell me if you didn't like something. Just please do so in a respectful way.


End file.
